


Loving You 3000

by athletiger



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Timers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 07:54:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19352722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/athletiger/pseuds/athletiger
Summary: He stared. On his chest, above his palpitating heart, was the number 3000. Steve’s fingers lifted, unbidden, and he brushed over the numbers, which only stared back at him.His chest constricted, then swelled.





	Loving You 3000

**Author's Note:**

  * For [armoredsoftie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/armoredsoftie/gifts).



> Thanks to for cheer reading and for beta-ing. You guys are the best <3
> 
> Armoredsoftie: Hope you like this! Thanks for the amazing prompt.

His chest was raw with agony as he watched the dirt pile on top of the casket. There were no tears left to cry, but still his soul wept with pain. Bucky stood beside him, giving him silent support with his arms around his shoulders and holding him up when his legs gave out.

“Come on.” Bucky tugged Steve lightly, but Steve couldn’t convince himself to move. He wanted this last moment with her. “You’re going to get sick if you stay out here any longer.”

“I miss her already,” he whispered, finally letting Bucky pull him away.

Bucky made a noise of sympathy, patting him on the back. “I know buddy, I miss her too.”

The breeze picked up, sending the leaves flying into the air as they walked home. Steve shivered, clutched his jacket tighter around himself. He was numb - as much as he fought for justice, he couldn’t fight Death. He was grateful that Bucky was there in silence; he didn’t want to talk, not right now.

Steve’s breath rattled in his chest when he inhaled, and there was a tightness in his throat that wouldn’t go away; thank God they were finally home. “You gonna be okay?” Bucky asked when Steve turned the doorknob.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” He wasn’t, not really, but Bucky had to take of his own mother and sister. “Really, I’ll be fine.”

Arms wrapped around his frail body, and Bucky’s cheek pressed the back of his head. “Take care of yourself. I don’t think I can bear it if you don’t.”

For the sake of their friendship, Steve swallowed down his selfishness (because he wasn’t selfish at all) and pushed away. He felt untethered, but he had to be patient and take one step at a time - he had nothing left to lose, and all he had was up. “I’ll be okay, promise.”

“You better,” Bucky called back as his steps thumped down the staircase, “Else I’ll kill you myself.”

Steve snorted through the last drying trails of tears on his face and strolled through his apartment filled with memories that made his heart ache. He shivered, and he realized for the first time that he was cold to the bone.

Robotically, he shrugged off his coat and sweater, walking briskly through the bedroom and into the bathroom, chasing the warmth that a shower promised.  

The water washed away the quiet sounds of his tearless cries (that were only audible to God’s ears).

He stepped out into the cold air of the apartment, which already had begun to leech away at the little bit of warmth he’d acquired, and as he tossed on an oversized shirt, he glanced up at the mirror. He froze in shock.

He stared. On his chest, above his palpitating heart, was the number _3000_. Steve’s fingers lifted, unbidden, and he brushed over the numbers, which only stared back at him. His chest constricted, then swelled.

-

Bucky sat on the rickety dining chair and asked between bites of his burger, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Steve said, poking at his own burger with disinterest. “How about your ma and your sis?”

“They’re sad that your ma is gone,” Bucky said quietly, “Ma really misses her. We all do.”

Seemingly absent of thought, Steve nodded, and at Bucky’s persistent prodding, he finally took a bite of his burger. It tasted like ash in his mouth, but he chewed it anyway.

“What’s on your mind, Stevie?”

Steve finally swallowed the bite. “I got my soulmate mark,” he confessed, and a heart-warming grin graced his face.

Bucky matched his smile. “You did? Where?”

Steve pulled his collar down so that the top of the numbers peeked through. “Found it a few days ago after I showered. Must’ve gotten it while we were out burying Ma.”

“That’s good, I’m really glad.”

Steve took another bite of his burger, chewing it and swallowing before he said, “ _Three thousand_ , Buck. They’re not days, which means that it could be anywhere from three thousand weeks or months or – “ he shuddered – “it couldn’t be possibly years. But no matter what, I don’t even know if I would even live that long.”

“You will.” Bucky sounded so much more confident than how he felt. “If you have that mark, you’ll find them.”

“But –“ _my body_ , he didn’t say. He was so fucking skinny and frail, and sick all the time. There was no way his soulmate would love him.

Bucky saw through him and fixed Steve with a determined stare. “Loving someone may not ever be easy, but there is a reason why they’re your soulmate.”

“You’re right.” Steve sat there silently for one more moment, contemplating silently, before deciding to change the subject. “Have you heard anything more about Europe?”

-

Bucky was off in the war, and he was still back in stateside, finally getting his opportunity to do one good deed. The only thing that kept him going and not give up was the timer on his chest. He stood there beside all the manly men, buff and strong, while he himself was weak. He was going to do this, no matter what. He everything to gain when he came here.

And then she stepped out in front of them.

He fell in love with her the moment she put Private Hodge in his place. Her curls bounced, her suit was crisp and perfect as she dumped the larger man onto the ground, and it was easy to look at her with admiration for the way she could keep up with the rest of them and the best of them.

It was such a pity that Peggy wasn’t his soulmate; she would have been a perfect one too. No, the clock on his chest still ticked down slowly, week by week, seven days closer to seeing his soulmate for the first time. And he was still alive, although barely. He had someone to live for, but his body proved otherwise. Besides, the government needed bodies – if he could be one, he would gladly sacrifice his. Perhaps this pound of flesh would do its good deed for once.

However, indeed, the woman in front of him was an amazing one: strong, ambitious, determined. And supportive even though he was the weakest link out of the entire troop. She didn’t look at him with pity, for which Steve was grateful.

And when the pain came, then Erskine’s death, she was there, supporting him as Captain America. Perhaps, however, he could be selfish for once, because she was there, and his soulmate wasn’t.

Because he didn’t believe in Bucky’s words anymore, the belief that when the time is right, he would meet his soulmate. He saw the way one of the gal’s soulmate timer faded right in front of his eyes. It was on her hand, ticking down day by day, and then it vanished the next moment. Her cries and wails as she collapsed on the middle of the sidewalk still haunted his dreams. So he just wanted to be selfish, this once, because who knew that tomorrow meant his own death?

And it seemed as if she had the same mindset, for she asked, “How about a dance?”

“Ms. Carter, but I don’t know how to dance?” 

“I can teach you,” Peggy replied, smiling behind her drink, and he matched her grin.

He extended his hand, and she took it, leading him to the dance floor. “I look forward to learning.”

Tomorrow became today, and his death was imminent. Dropping the plane into the Atlantic was America’s only hope, and he had one week left on his soulmate timer. Pity.

 _I’m sorry_ , he thought, hating that he was so close and yet will be forever far from them because he was a soldier first, lover second.

-

New York was…different. New, unfamiliar, timely. He felt untethered as he stood there in the middle of what had to be Times Square, looking at all the…newness of what should have been a familiar city.

When SHIELD got him settled in, he looked at himself in the mirror, perfect in all the ways he wasn’t before he got the serum, and he didn’t know the man who stared back at him. It was him, and yet it wasn’t. But maybe now, as he looked at the timer, his soulmate would like him.

 _1_ became _0_ when he wasn’t looking, and one Anthony Stark looked at him with veiled distaste. He thought that having a soulmate would complete his life, would be happy to _be_ his soulmate. Steve never thought that it would be the complete opposite, that his soulmate would fight him at every turn and decision.

But perhaps, when the battle was over and Loki was gone, his soulmate needn’t be a perfect replica of who he thought should be. Steve looked at Tony, his haunted face of nearly sacrificing himself for the sake of the world, and thought to himself, _Perhaps not perfect_ , _but compatible._

Because when Tony looked back at Steve with grudging admiration, telling him that “Dad loved you and spent nearly his entire looking for you. And I loved you as a hero, but I hated you as a person because you took my dad,” Steve could understand a little bit of where he came from, but also - 

“Howard was a good person. He gave me the shield, but you’re my soulmate.” Steve told Tony, reaching a hand out as a peace offering.

Tony shook it.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Loving You 3000 [Podfic]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20871782) by [Ravin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravin/pseuds/Ravin)




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